Potty Training Tips For Autistic Children: A Mother's Journey

By Autism Mom · June 10, 2024 · 5 min read

River didn't potty train until age 5—and that's okay. Here's exactly what finally worked for us after years of trying.

Let's Be Real: This Is Hard

If you're in the trenches of potty training an autistic child, I see you. The accidents. The resistance. The wondering if this will ever click.

River was fully potty trained at 5 years old. Not 2. Not 3. Five. And you know what? That's completely okay.

📥 Grab my FREE Potty Training Success Guide for Autism Parents →

Why Traditional Potty Training Often Fails

Most potty training advice assumes your child can:

Understand verbal instructions easily
Feel and interpret body signals
Handle the sensory experience of the bathroom
Be motivated by praise or rewards

For many autistic kids, some (or all) of these are harder. And that's not a failure—it just means we need a different approach.

What Actually Worked for River

1. Sensory-Friendly Underwear

This sounds small, but it was HUGE. River couldn't stand the feel of regular underwear. We switched to Hanes Comfortsoft—the softest we could find—and suddenly he was willing to wear them.

"Sometimes the solution isn't about training harder. It's about removing sensory barriers we didn't even know existed."

2. Visual Schedules

We created a simple visual schedule for the bathroom. This 👉 ASD Visual Toilet Schedule is very similar to what we used:

Pull down pants (picture)
Sit on potty (picture)
Wait (with timer visual)
Wipe (picture)
Flush (picture)
Wash hands (picture)

This stayed on the bathroom wall for months. It removed the guessing and reduced his anxiety about the whole process.

Product we love: 👉 Potty Training Seat with Step Ladder — Makes the toilet less intimidating and gives them stability!

3. The Sensory Basket

Game-changer. I put together a basket that stayed by the toilet:

Stretchy strings to fidget with
Bubbles to blow
A few favorite small toys

This made sitting on the toilet something he'd actually want to do. He'd ask to go just to play with the basket!

4. The 30-Minute Timer Method

Every 30 minutes, the timer went off and we'd do a quick potty break. No pressure to actually go—just sit for a minute, check the schedule, maybe blow some bubbles.

We used a 👉 Visual Timer so River could SEE the time passing. Some parents also love the 👉 Potty Training Watch & Book Set — the watch vibrates as a reminder!

Over time, his body started to connect the timer with the bathroom. The routine became predictable, which is exactly what our kids need.

What NOT to Do

Don't shame accidents. Ever. "Oops! Let's clean up" is all you need.
Don't rush it. If they're not ready, they're not ready.
Don't compare to other kids. Their timeline is theirs.

Signs of Readiness

Before trying again, look for:

Staying dry for 2+ hours at a time
Showing awareness when wet/dirty
Interest in the bathroom or others using it
Ability to follow simple visual routines

A Note for the Exhausted Parents

I spent years feeling like a failure because River wasn't potty trained "on time." Looking back, he trained when HE was ready—and all those early attempts were just building familiarity.

Trust the process. Trust your child. And trust yourself.

Where are you in the potty training journey? I'd love to hear what's working or what you're struggling with. 💛