Potty Training Tips For Autistic Children: A Mother's Journey

As a mother of a speech-delayed autistic child, I understand firsthand the unique challenges that come with potty training. It's a milestone that can feel daunting and overwhelming, especially when traditional methods don't seem to work. However, through patience, persistence, and a willingness to try different approaches, I've discovered techniques that have helped my child make significant progress in their potty training journey.

My son, River, is a bright and curious boy, but communication has always been a challenge for him - he's 5 years old, Autistic, and speech-delayed. When it came time to start potty training, I quickly realized that traditional methods, like verbal cues and rewards charts, weren't going to be effective for him. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I knew I needed to find alternative strategies that would cater to his unique needs.

After doing some research and consulting with his teachers and therapists, I decided to try a multi-sensory approach to potty training. Here are some techniques that have worked wonders for River and our family:

• Comfort Comes First: Every child will have different preferences on the type of toilet that they are comfortable sitting on. Some children are open to going straight onto a regular-sized toilet, while others may want to use a toilet potty training seat with step-stool ladder (which my son still uses), and other children may start with using a mini potty training toilet that sits on the ground. You may need to do a bit of trial and error to find the one that suits your child's needs and comfort. This also goes for the underwear selection! Due to River's sensory sensitivities, it took us trying MANY different types, styles, and fabrics for his big boy underwear until we found some that were comfortable for him to wear. After a couple of weeks (and some money spent!), the underwear he preferred most was these Hanes Comfortsoft Boxer Briefs. They have a comfortable waistband, soft fabric, no ride-ups, and no tags (no itch!). Every kiddo is different, and they all have different sensitivities and preferences, but you will eventually find some that work for your child.

• Visual Schedules: are highly effective tools for Autistic children as they provide a clear and concrete way to understand expectations and routines. Many autistic children are visual learners and using visual schedules, can promote independence, reduce anxiety, and foster a sense of structure and predictability in their daily lives. I used this ASD Potty Training Visual Schedule that outlined each step of the potty training process, from pulling pants down to washing hands afterward. Using these simple visual icons, similar to what he uses in school, River could easily understand what was expected of him and stay consistent with his routine. Remember, consistency and routine are key!

• Sensory Reinforcement: Our Therapists suggested incorporating sensory reinforcement into my son's toilet training routine to make it more enjoyable for him. I gathered up a few of River's favorite sensory toys and activities and made a cute little basket to keep beside the toilet. While he sat on the potty, I would let him play with his Textured Stretchy String Fidget Toys or sometimes he would want to play with his Expandable Plastic Sensory Sphere (which he can play with for HOURS!). Other times, we would just sit there and blow bubbles with his Bubble Gun and laugh together! It's really all about making it an overall fun and enjoyable experience for everyone!

• Modeling and Imitation: Children with autism often learn best through imitation. I demonstrated the potty training process myself and encouraged River to mimic my actions. Every time I needed to go, I would take him with me and talk through the steps on the ASD Potty Training Visual Schedule. Seeing me use the toilet, flush, and wash my hands afterward helped him understand what was expected of him and instilled that sense of routine.

• Positive Reinforcement: Instead of relying solely on verbal praise, I also used tangible rewards such as stickers or small treats to reinforce River's efforts. Scratch and Sniff Reward Stickers worked well for us because my son loved the process of scratching the sticker and smelling it afterward (sensory!). He also LOVES Chips Ahoy Cookies (they have to be the "original" ones, nothing else!), so I would incorporate an occasional cookie treat as well. You have to be careful with the sweet treat rewards though! A good idea would be to give half instead of a whole cookie, and alternate between various tangible rewards. And always remember to celebrate even the smallest successes to keep your child motivated!

• Patience and Consistency: When we first started potty training our son, we started the consistent routine of taking him to the bathroom as soon as we returned home for the day. As soon as we walked in the door we would say, "River let's go potty!" and we would remove his Pull-Ups Potty Training Pants, and sit him on the toilet for about 5 minutes. Sometimes he went, sometimes he didn't. We would then put his big boy underwear on, put a washable waterproof pad on the couch where he liked to sit, and just let him roam the house in his undies for the rest of the evening. We would set a timer on our phones, take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes, and repeat the process until bedtime. Then at bedtime, we would put on another Pull-Up. We did this routine consistently every day for about 3-4 months with MANY accidents. We ended up starting another cute little basket beside the toilet just for a pile of clean underwear. One evening, River just randomly walked to the bathroom on his own (we always kept the light on for him), pulled down his pants, climbed up the little toilet ladder and went pee! We couldn't believe our eyes! Did that really just happen?! My heart swelled with pride as I realized that River was starting to take ownership of his potty training journey. From that day on, we continued the routine of taking him to the bathroom as soon as we got home, but then we just left him in his undies without the routine 30-minute bathroom breaks because he just started going to the bathroom on his own! My little man amazes me more and more every day! Potty training is a gradual process, especially for non-verbal or speech-delayed autistic children. I always remained patient, loving, and consistent, with the hope that one day we would get there...and we did!

Throughout River's potty training journey, I was filled with so much gratitude for the techniques that have helped us along the way. It wasn't always smooth sailing, and we encountered our fair share of setbacks along the way, but with each small victory, I felt a sense of pride and hope for the future.

Every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. But with patience, creativity, and unwavering love and support, I believe that every autistic child can achieve success in potty training...and beyond!